Friday, 6 January 2017

one year

*tw*

The universe has a strange way of subconsciously reminding you of certain things, which is what I realised today when I felt really weird...it's an extremely difficult thing to describe. Then I realised how my life was very very different this exact time last year, to be honest, if I had made a decision one whole year ago to this day I wouldn't be here to write this. Despite that being so horrible to write, it made me realise how much not only my life, but myself as a person has changed in a year. Even though I tried hard to keep myself distracted for the whole day today, its hard to completely ignore such a huge thing in your life even if it is in the past. Mainly that is why I decided to write this as firstly, writing is very therapeutic but also to remind myself how different I am from the person I was a year ago.

A good analogy is to use is dominos (not the pizza), where if you line all of them up and then if one falls down they all do and its just a pile collapsing, I could apply that to what was my life. A whole build up where the final thing that tips you over the edge can just be the tiniest push.
There is a big difference between the emotion of being anxious, and experiencing it on a clinical level  which a lot of people seem to not be able to distinguish without experiencing it. I once heard someone describe this feeling as a dark mass inside you that comes and goes, usually at the times you least expect it. It can really take over your whole life, for me it meant I missed a lot of school which wasn't great considering I was in the second year of A Levels, and consequently I didn't do as well as I was expected to do in my exams and meant I couldn't go to the university I wanted to. In a way of course I am upset about those circumstances but this is the part where it gets better...

Despite never wanting to re-live what I went through, and it sounds crazy to say it, but I am glad I went through it as it changed my life - temporarily for the worse, but long term for better. I became a nicer person, I learnt it is very important to see the good in every day and in people as well. I learnt compassion, I realised who my real friends are most importantly I learnt to value life.

In a way, maybe the plans I had were never meant to happen for me. Looking back I am glad things didn't go to plan for me as I wouldn't be where I am now and I wouldn't have met the people I have. Some people don't understand why when they ask me what I want to do with my life, I can't give them an answer, and it's hard to explain to people why I, for the time being, live my life in quite a care-free way. This is why I don't place so much emphasis on the future because I have learnt there is no way of knowing what will happen in your life and it is so much better to live in the moment sometimes.

Even though a year ago I had absolutely no hope in anything, the strangest thing is, looking back now at it, that has given me so much hope as now I live my life by the fact everything happens for a reason, and everyone who comes into your life is there for a reason too. I believe everyone has a pre- determined life path, and sometimes you have to get lost in it to come out and find the way again.

Saturday, 3 September 2016

two whole years later

It feels very strange typing a post to publish on my blog considering it has been over two whole years since I last published a post on here.

Why did I stop blogging? I'm honestly not too sure as there was not one specific reason, however I also didn't actually plan to stop blogging. In the last few months of published posts back in 2014 I just slowly started posting less and less, which can be attributed to the fact this was nearing my GCSE's. When I finished them, despite having the long summer ahead, I just never sat down and came back to blogging and it spiralled from there. I do still read blogs (but not hardly as much as I used to...) but the passion I had for it seemed to disappear and I didn't have any motivation to blog.

I feel strangely connected yet very distant from blogging, as despite not being 'active' on my blogs twitter I still go on it multiple times a day so I still feel like I'm immersed within the blogging world, without actually being a part of it. I have actually considered re-starting blogging a few times since I last posted but I have been very busy the past two years and never got round to it...I still as I write this don't honestly feel like the passion I once had for it has suddenly come back, BUT something made me open my laptop and write this post which I'm not sure where its going!

I think the most important and strange thing for me sitting here and writing this as I am a completely different person to who I was the last time I pressed 'publish' on a post. In June 2014 which is when my last post is dated, I was a quite very awkward 16 year old (which is still evident in my side bar and about me page..should prob change that) who had just finished GCSE's who lacked a lot of confidence generally. Fast forward to now and I'm 18 years old, just completed a-levels at sixth form, going to university and passed my driving test (the latter three all which  happened in the last three months). Aside from these 'milestones' the most drastic difference which I see in myself everyday is personal growth.

Personal growth is something I think is so important, and honestly I'm not sure how I managed to become the person I am today compared to two years ago. That sounds like I've had some life changing experiences or something which isn't true - its not quite that dramatic. However I do know my general confidence and self confidence has grown so much but this has not been without very very down points too. I have experienced quite a roller coaster the last two years and am I exactly at the place I want to be right now? No I'm not, but that's the best thing about your own personal growth and development, its a journey.

On that note, I have a lot of topics like the aforementioned one which I'd like to write about on here as I do think the last two years (particularly the last year) have been the most eventful of my entire life. When I contemplated writing about this I realised maybe a reason I fell out of love with my blog was feeling restricted to 'beauty' and I feel like now I just couldn't write purely about that, i have been exposed to so many new things I would like to share to that it would seem silly to only write about one topic when there are things I would really like to write about.

So who knows, despite starting University at the end of this month maybe coming back to blogging isn't a realistic task, but I think having the freedom to just right down my thoughts makes it much more appealing than slaving away over a product review (not saying I'm not going to stop these). Maybe I'll have a blog re design so it doesn't feel so cutesy and come back to posting more regularly on both here and my social media accounts!

But for now, I feel like the time is right to slowly return to blogging... (this was very long and ramble-y typed at 00:10 so if you've read this far, thank you Haha)

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Lush 'Granny Takes a Dip' Bath Bomb

 
I definitely see baths as more of a 'Winter' thing, as personally, I much prefer having one when it's dark outside and have candles burning, I find it far more relaxing! However I still like to have bath bombs during Summer, mainly to use the copious amounts of bath products I have! However, I've realised I just cannot have them at the usual temperature I have them. Let's just say, I had a face mask on and it was actually dripping off, not a great thought. It felt more like torture than something to do to unwind! Luckily, I learnt from my mistake and had a far more relaxing one, helped by the fact I used this lovely bath bomb!
This is quite big for a bath bomb as they are usually a sphere whereas this is flat. As it's big, it takes a while to dissolve which personally I like as it means the swirly colours stay in the bath for longer while you're in it, it's not like some that fizz away really fast not leaving much. As you can see from the (many) pictures above, all the colours begin to spread out, resulting in the bath having a light pink base with splashes of bright, swirly colour. The scent is very unique, I definitely agree with what lush says it smells like, it is citrus-y but quite a warm citrus. I really enjoyed using Granny Takes a Dip and I would definitely repurchase this as it's definitely one of the most colourful bath bombs I've used!

Saturday, 7 June 2014

Guest Post: How to spot clean + deep clean your makeup brushes!

Today's post is a guest post from Alice at THE STYLE OF LONDON who has written a fab post about how to spot clean and deep clean your makeup brushes!

I decided to do a post on how to clean your brushes as this seems to be a question that comes up quite a lot in conversation among a range of people including some of my friends. The main queries seem to be what products to use, how often to do it and how to physically wash them. I will be answering all these questions below so read on if you want to know more and feel free to let me know any other ideas you have for washing your brushes.
There are lots different ways you can wash your brushes and a mixture of views out there on the best way to do it. This can make it difficult to decide how to clean them and I will be showing the way that I have personally have found works best for me.   
Firstly – what you will need:
Deep clean:
Makeup brushes
Towel
A Sink
Spot clean:
Tissue Paper
Brush cleaner (MAC does a good one)
How to clean them
Deep clean
Firstly, grab your dirty makeup brushes and bring them to your sink or bowl of warm water. Soak the tips of the brushes completely in water. Then pour a small drop of the baby shampoo onto the palm of your hand, dip the tip of the brush into this and move the brush back and forth across your fingers until the water runs clear. It is best to try not to wash the brushes too close to the handle as it could loosen the glue that holds the bristles in place. Then gently wipe your brush onto your towel to take out some excess water and rest the brushes with the tip facing off the towel so that they will air dry.
I have also heard from a variety of sources that it is bad to dry your brushes with the tip facing upright as the water will get stuck inside the brush and so it is either best to dry them with the brush side facing downwards or to lay them flat.
 Spot Clean
Spot cleaning is great for when you want to quickly use a different colour with the same brush, and don’t want to wait for ages for your brushes to dry. To do this you just need to spray a bit of your brush cleaner on tissue paper and then in a downwards motion, gently brush the bristles across the tissue paper till all of the colour has gone. If I do not have brush cleaner I will sometimes use my makeup wipes to quickly take the colour off my brushes, and have found this works well too.
Have you got any other tips or ways you feel have worked best to get your brushes clean?
How often to clean them
It really depends on how much you use your brushes. If your brushes get dirty really quickly then it might be best to do a deep clean once a week. Because I tend to spot clean quite a bit between brush uses, I don’t feel the need to deep clean my brushes this often. I don’t have a particular day I clean my brushes, I just clean them when I feel like it needs doing. But, if I was to put a date on it I would say I deep clean my brushes around once a month and spot clean after every other use. How often do you think is best to clean your brushes?
I hope you all enjoyed my guest post and it has been helpful for some of you!
Alice x

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